


Skin Deep

by SolarisRasa



Series: Sol's Malec Whumptober 2020 [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Demons, M/M, Paranoia, Sort Of, Unreliable Narrator, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:09:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarisRasa/pseuds/SolarisRasa
Summary: No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCOPanic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia“Did you know?”Jace approaches him slowly, “Know what man?”“Did you help him? Did you help my husband plan to make me like this? Are you helping him!?”
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Sol's Malec Whumptober 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953454
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	Skin Deep

Alec couldn’t say when he noticed, just that he did. He was walking a familiar route, bedroom to office, on a day he’d stayed the night at the Institute when the awareness became too much.

For days, weeks, unspeakable time, he’d caught shadowhunters quickly stepping away from him, looking at him in the periphery. He swore Underhill was tracking him through the Institute on the camera’s. It made him itch, like insects burrowing just at the edge of his hairline, like his clothing didn’t ever fit just right. Sweat raised on his skin whenever he spent too long in the open of the Ops center.

He tried not to sleep there, ever, but the loft was too empty when Magnus had to go away overnight. His husband would be home that evening, Alec was sure. Not soon enough, if the crawling feeling up his spine was too be believed.

He sped up, trying to resist the urge to sprint down the hall. He was a leader here and he would not be seen  _ running  _ from his own people.

“-not right.”

Alec flinched, seeing the way Mari quickly looked away from him as she spoke. 

He thought they were past this, he thought he’d earned their respect here, that they trusted him but lately…

Those under his command were waiting for something, all of them were poised and waiting for him to...to...something. He wondered, feeling flighty and deranged as he made it to the safety of his office, if this was what the air felt like on a ship just before a mutiny.

Before he could shut the door one of the younger recruits, recently sent, pushed in, rolling their eyes as Alec snapped a  _ what?  _ In their direction.

He suppressed a shudder, stalking around his desk, the barrier of the wide oak felt like it was the edge of his rapidly breaking borders of self. He was spilling, pooling on the floor, contained by the fixings of his station and he wasn’t  _ alone. _

“Sorry, sir. Underhill said you weren’t in a mood to be disturbed but I figured you’d want to know about the mission last night.”

The tone is pure disrespect and Alec glares. The recruit takes a step back in response and the image seems to waver. Disrespect becomes clear uncertainty and Alec  _ doubts.  _

When did he become an unreliable narrator in his own mind? What is happening to him?

He remembers, abrupt and terribly, the way it felt on the balcony at Max’s rune ceremony, Iris’ magic playing havoc in his mind. He’s not noticed anything, no spells or the tang of magic except the wards and the usual charm Magnus-

His eyes widen, no longer seeing the young man who is hurrying out of his office, aware of something wrong.

Has Magnus done this? Has his husband finally gotten bored, has the turmoil between the downworld and the Clave finally poisoned them? Did Magnus see, clearly, that he had an opportunity to destabilize them through his connection to Alec?

It would explain the awful wrongness that has been trailing him for weeks, the more frequent absences of his husband. He nods to himself and with a brush of his fingers over his tablet, locks the Institute down, lights going red.

The sound of running feet and demands for explanations happen outside of his office as he types his order frantically, sending it and waiting. In every central room in the New York Institute the capture order for Magnus Lightwood-Bane flares.

Alec collapses into his chair, tears running down his face. He’s a fool.

His office door slams open, revealing Jace who looks stunned and then afraid.

“Alec?”

“Did you know?”

Jace approaches him slowly, “Know what man?”

“Did you help him? Did you help my husband plan to make me like this? Are you  _ helping  _ him!?”

He comes to his feet, manifesting his bow.

Jace stares and then his eyes burn gold and he moves in a blur, tackling Alec. They fight on the ground, Jace ignoring the blunt pain of all the things they’re slamming into. 

He manages to get his stele out and draws quickly, watching Alec go suddenly limp. It’s the work of a moment to over-ride the lockdown and cancel the orders, sending an Institute wide alert of potential demonic presence. He informs Izzy and Underhill that they need to keep an eye out for erratic behavior and compromised shadowhunters.

The miasma that Jace can finally see running over Alec’s skin explains the repellant force that his parabatai manifested suddenly two weeks before and he has a sinking feeling it’s the reason for Alec’s strange behavior, even before today.

He sends a fire message to Magnus quickly before he lifts Alec off the floor and takes him to his room.

-

Twenty minutes later a portal tears through the fabric of the wards and Jace is on his feet, blade in hand. Clary is poised beside him, ready to portal Alec out if needed.

Magnus comes through, barely looking at them as his gaze locks on Alec.

“ _ Bodohnya aku.”  _ He breathed, kneeling immediately by the bed, magic flaring.

“Magnus?” Jace asks, putting his weapon away.

“I’ve been trying to find the source for weeks. I kept having delusions, brief moments where reality warped, I was hearing Alec saying...horrid things. I didn’t want to worry him, I assumed it was some mishap with a spell or a potion gone wrong. I’ve been visiting a few friends and searching with Tessa for a counterspell. Of course, the effects seemed to come and go. I only felt them when I was home, near Alec. I didn’t see...I didn’t realize.”

“What is it? What’s wrong with him?” Clary’s voice is high in distress.

“ _ Phobos.  _ A fear demon who feeds by slowly turning the victims reality against them. Alec will have come into contact with something very old recently, a relic. The demon would have left its mark there, to be triggered by a living being touching it. Find it, burn it.”

Magnus looks between them and Jace turns quickly to the door, “I think I know...there were a few things we pulled from the old cellars, things that Alec wanted to get rid of or...return.” That there were pieces of  _ people  _ down there weighs in the air, for a moment, “Some of it was  _ ancient.  _ That stuff is in Izzy’s lab. I’ll find it.” 

Magnus nods, eyes returning, unerringly, to Alec.

“Hang on my darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> Indonesian is for "How stupid I am."


End file.
